Ulysses Everett McGill: You ever been with a woman? Delmar O'Donnell: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that. Ulysses Everett McGill: You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers. Pete: The Preacher said it absolved us. Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar. Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed. Ulysses Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed. [Repeated line] Ulysses Everett McGill: Damn! We're in a tight spot! Ulysses Everett McGill: Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking. Ulysses Everett McGill: I'll tell you what I am -- I'm the damn paterfamilias! You can't marry him! Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote. Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too. [Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote.] Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas. Pete: What's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, Pete, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson: Oh no, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated. Ulysses Everett McGill: It does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny. Penny Wharvey McGill: A lot of respectable people have been hit by trains. Ulysses Everett McGill: Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'? Ulysses Everett McGill: Only a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. Pete: You stole from my kin! Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us. Pete: You didn't know that at the time. Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know. Pete: That don't make no sense! Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. Penny Wharvey McGill: Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you? Delmar O'Donnell: Them syreens did this to him. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad. Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble. Pete: No one's gonna pick three dirty, unshaved strangers -- and one of them a know-it-all who can't keep his trap shut. Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. However, I would like to address your general attitude of negativity. Consider the lilies o' the goddamn field or... hell! Take Delmar here as your paradigm of hope. Ulysses Everett McGill: The personal rancor reflected in that remark I do not wish to dignify with a comment. However, I would like to address your general attitude of negativity. Consider the lilies a the goddamn field or...hell! Take Delmar here as your paradigm of hope. [Shopping for pomade while on the run.] Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I don't want Fop, godammit! I'm a Dapper Dan man! Ulysses Everett McGill: Well isn't this place a geographic oddity. Two weeks from everywhere. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, it didn't look like a two-horse town, but try finding a decent hair jelly. Delmar O'Donnell: Friend? Some of your foldin' money is come unstowed. Delmar O'Donnell: You ain't no kind of man if you ain't got land. George Nelson: Jesus saves, George Nelson withdraws! Delmar O'Donnell: You work for the railroad, Grampa? Blind Seer: I work for no man. Delmar O'Donnell: Got a name, do you? Blind Seer: I have no name. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, that right there may be the reason you've had difficulty findin' gainful employment... Delmar O'Donnell: We thought you was a toad! Ulysses Everett McGill: You ever been with a woman? Delmar O'Donnell: I gotta get the family farm back before I start worrying about that. Ulysses Everett McGill: You two are just dumber than a bag of hammers. Pete: The Preacher said it absolved us. Ulysses Everett McGill: For him, not for the law. I'm surprised at you, Pete, I gave you credit for more brains than Delmar. Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed. Ulysses Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed. [Repeated line] Ulysses Everett McGill: Damn! We're in a tight spot! Ulysses Everett McGill: Me an' the old lady are gonna pick up the pieces and retie the knot, mixaphorically speaking. Ulysses Everett McGill: I'll tell you what I am -- I'm the damn paterfamilias! You can't marry him! Pete: Wait a minute. Who elected you leader of this outfit? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well Pete, I figured it should be the one with the capacity for abstract thought. But if that ain't the consensus view, then hell, let's put it to a vote. Pete: Suits me. I'm voting for yours truly. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well I'm voting for yours truly too. [Everett and Pete look at Delmar for the deciding vote.] Delmar O'Donnell: Okay... I'm with you fellas. Pete: What's the devil look like? Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, Pete, there are all manner of lesser imps and demons, but the great Satan hisself is red and scaly with a bifurcated tail, and he carries a hay fork. Tommy Johnson: Oh no, sir. He's white, as white as you folks, with empty eyes and a big hollow voice. He likes to travel around with a mean old hound. Tommy Johnson: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil. Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated. Ulysses Everett McGill: It does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny. Penny Wharvey McGill: A lot of respectable people have been hit by trains. Ulysses Everett McGill: Or, if not smithies per se, were you otherwise trained in the metallurgic arts before straitened circumstances forced you into a life of aimless wanderin'? Ulysses Everett McGill: Only a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. Pete: You stole from my kin! Ulysses Everett McGill: Who was fixin' to betray us. Pete: You didn't know that at the time. Ulysses Everett McGill: So I borrowed it until I did know. Pete: That don't make no sense! Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. Penny Wharvey McGill: Vernon here's got a job. Vernon's got prospects. He's bona fide. What are you? Delmar O'Donnell: Them syreens did this to him. They loved him up and turned him into a horny toad. Pete: Since we been followin' your lead, we ain't got nothing but trouble. Pete: No one's gonna pick three dirty, unshaved strangers -- and one of them a know-it-all who can't keep his trap shut. Ulysses Everett McGill: Pete, the personal rancor reflected in that remark I don't intend to dignify with comment. However, I would like to address your general attitude of negativity. Consider the lilies o' the goddamn field or... hell! Take Delmar here as your paradigm of hope. Ulysses Everett McGill: The personal rancor reflected in that remark I do not wish to dignify with a comment. However, I would like to address your general attitude of negativity.
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